How Has TACA Helped My Family?
Vanessa, Toluca Lake, CA
TACA has helped us expand our definition of “family.” When your world is forever altered by autism, some of the first casualties are relationships with the people around you. Once we came to grips with the shock, denial, and grief, the sense of isolation began. Family and friends can become distant, both physically and emotionally. Thankfully, TACA has helped our family from that dire sense of solitude.
When our son was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3, we were devastated. In the most poetic of terms – it just sucked! One thing was certain, the two of us were determined that we were going to do whatever was necessary to help this little boy, and we were going to do it as a team. No way, no how was autism going to claim our marriage as another victim. What we hadn’t anticipated was how autism was going to affect the other relationships in our lives. Many times we would hear from well-meaning grandparents, “Don’t tell [insert relative’s name here] about the autism. They don’t need to know.” It only took a couple of uncontrolled tantrums to extinguish any thoughts of birthday parties, or even Thanksgiving dinner with the family. When autism isn’t part of their daily life, people don’t understand and don’t want to deal with it. But then there was TACA.
With TACA, we belonged. When we first began this journey as completely freaked out parents, TACA had their “New Parent” seminar and monthly support meetings to empower us with knowledge. Experienced TACA parents were there to help us navigate the world of ABA, DAN, SDC, ST, OT, (or any other acronym) with more comprehensive insights than any “expert” (and in terms we could understand!). The TACA Family Picnic allowed us to feel “normal” and actually have a good time without feeling self-conscious. Plus, we’ve made some great TACA friends, who by the way throw some awesome GFCF birthday parties.
Throughout this experience we try to celebrate “the bright side” wherever we can find it. Yeah, it’s hard for our son to maintain a conversation, but he is a big hit with his female peers. He also has an amazing affinity for playing guitar (and he’s even a “lefty” like Hendrix, baby!). And, we’ve got to giggle when we see him look up Twisted Sister and Billy Idol videos on YouTube. Some families may be hoping for Harvard, but we’re hoping for the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame.
So thanks TACA, for being family.
Ken, Laguna Niguel, CA
Looking back, we as a family never could have imagined raising an autistic child. Before having our 2nd child we can hardly say we had a firm grasp of even knowing what Autism was. Even long after the initial denial and anger stages, every day seems to be filled with fending off tension, frustration and an overall negative gravitational pull. Like most families struggling with this burden you have to try to just grasp the small shining moments of the day.
As hard as it’s been living this life we could not have envisioned, it’s equally hard to envision living it with very little support. We cannot imagine what it was like for families raising Autistic children before Al Gore invented the internet:) One of the things that keep us going is the access we have to other families who are sharing similar life experiences. It provides a feeling of unity – it enables us to vent frustration, share vital information with one another, give each other hope and prop each other up. The internet has also been an invaluable source of information – we’ve been able to research every bit of information we ever or never wanted to know about this dreaded affliction and everything that goes along with it.
When we first started searching the internet we didn’t have much direction. It can be an exhausting task when you’re feeling desperate and confused and information seems to be fragmented or scattered. We were fortunate to have stumbled upon the TACA site a little over 2 years ago which is exactly what we needed at that time. It took us by the hand and helped guide us when we felt lost and really helped to soften the blow. We immediately plugged into meetings and mentorship, we joined several Yahoo groups, and we learned about special diets, biomedical testing and treatments, and we became informed on how to navigate through IEP’s and insurance reimbursements. It has helped us in every regard to be more informed, more proactive and more focused in our ongoing battle against Autism
When we think of TACA we think mostly of Lisa and the work she has done. We hold an enormous amount of gratitude and admiration for the selfless vision she had and how she molded it into something so helpful and beneficial to me and other families like mine. TACA has brought everything as it relates to dealing with Autism together in a way nobody else has and her vision seems to keep stretching to reach more families and do more good.
We hope the day comes when we can look back at this period and smile at how far our child has come and laugh with some of the other parents we’ve met through TACA. We also hope someday there will be confirmation as to why this epidemic exists and hopefully there will be no new members joining TACA.
Susan, Laguna Niguel, CA
Our first and only son did not speak, was not potty trained and showed little interest in those around him. After much denial and long periods of hosting on our own “pity parties,” I grew weary of living such a hopeless pathetic life. I was beginning to think we were alone in our battle to unlock our son from the grips of this nightmare and that no one knew what to do, that is except, TACA, the support group for “Talk About Curing Autism.”
When I came across the TACA website I immediately felt at home. In my mind I thought no one would understand the depression, the stimming, the lack of language and the failure to have friends. TACA did. Mothers, fathers, grandparents and friends of persons afflicted with Autism engaged in a virtual therapeutic blogging session. Its members laughed and cried together through their individual website postings. We discussed everything from bowel moments to lawyers. Diets, therapies, doctors and school districts were all weighed in on and discussed to find out who, what and where were our children being helped.
I attended several seminars and came home loaded with information and my fighting spirit restored. TACA provided me with a new kind of family. A non-judgmental empowered family, which together embraced the trials and triumphs of raising a special needs child. They were the glue that helped us stick our autism puzzle pieces together.
It is amazing to see and meet the families that make TACA what it is today. Culturally, economically and spiritually they are a diverse group of individuals pulled together to fight for their children and bring hope for others.
